Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize