This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
