This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize