I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
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It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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