I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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