I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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