I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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