Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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