If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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