So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
