I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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