I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
