you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
