We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I puked a lego.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.