Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.

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  (714): Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park. http://tfl.nu/ogfg
  Replies (10) Good night (652) Bad night (2006)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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  (973): Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie. http://tfl.nu/rlm3
  Replies (20) Good night (2542) Bad night (715)
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  (714): View more from California

  He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.

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  (714): He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/egoc
  Replies (28) Good night (4154) Bad night (1812)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore

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  (210): i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore http://tfl.nu/ys1g
  Replies (40) Good night (3681) Bad night (1178)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.

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  (203): Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit. http://tfl.nu/kamj
  Replies (17) Good night (4935) Bad night (883)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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  (412): My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now http://tfl.nu/563a
  Replies (12) Good night (1487) Bad night (5033)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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  (480): he seriously made his penis a facebook. http://tfl.nu/bto1
  Replies (15) Good night (4425) Bad night (1895)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.

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  (518): I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere. http://tfl.nu/r42x
  Replies (13) Good night (1430) Bad night (4565)
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  (516): View more from New York

  is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?

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  (516): is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is? http://tfl.nu/4m9k
  Replies (6) Good night (1256) Bad night (599)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.

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  (334): seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before. http://tfl.nu/yzzl
  Replies (7) Good night (1184) Bad night (992)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...

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  (732): it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits... http://tfl.nu/8y9r
  Replies (8) Good night (1350) Bad night (506)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.

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  (716): Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly. http://tfl.nu/tse2
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (479)
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  (661): View more from California

  TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!

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  (661): TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us! http://tfl.nu/7jy3
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (310)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.

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  (602): Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party. http://tfl.nu/kcfz
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (322)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  and you were wondering how she got into Harvard

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  (774): She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant (401): and you were wondering how she got into Harvard http://tfl.nu/kceh
  Replies (0) Good night (871) Bad night (325)

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