i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.