Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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