I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
