It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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