OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
