You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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