i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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