Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
