There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
