Who wears a wallet chain?!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
