So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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