we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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