Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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