This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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