After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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