He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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