i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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