This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
