what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize