is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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