Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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