just tell him i said nine months
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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