Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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