She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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