That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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