How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
