he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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