If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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