dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
