Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
