and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I am available for nakedness
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
