I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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