His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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