Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize