dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
being pregnant is like rehab
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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