'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize