it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize