we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
