We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize