I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
