he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
