I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
