I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
