I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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