just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
