u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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